


Miracle Aligner

by pastelglow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A lot of talking, Adventure, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Awkward Romance, Driving, M/M, Music, Road Trip, Romance, Slow Romance, Trip - Freeform, and some fighting, beach
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelglow/pseuds/pastelglow
Summary: Self-doubt and the constant fear that everything will shatter around him sooner or later does not only keep Remus up most nights. Sirius isn't in a much better place. It's their last summer break. While their friends seem to have figured it all out, Remus and Sirius feel out of place. They do not want to simply follow a path but want to go their own way.They don't really know where their goal is and that makes it quite impossible to find the right way there. But celestial navigation is a thing and both of them were named after a moon and a star for a reason.Two young men start a journey to celebrate their youth. A trip that promises bottled beer from the gas station, a lot of music and hot summer nights.Muggle AU! Set in the early 80s.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 7





	Miracle Aligner

Living was exhausting sometimes.

Remus took another sip and the sharp burn of the liquid seemed to be the only thing he truly felt. He didn’t even taste much. There was just that hot feeling that seeped down to his stomach, almost as if he was drinking fire.

No. Living wasn't the exhausting part, he thought. 

But being Remus Lupin was. Deep down he knew he was being pathetic. But at times he couldn’t quite suppress the self-hatred he had. All the doubts and worries and fears. It was bizarre, really. Remus wasn’t afraid of growing up. But of everything that came with it. What if he hadn’t seen everything he should have seen so far? Didn’t do everything, missed out on too many things? 

Another sip. Another sigh.

Remus was twenty-two. He wasn’t supposed to feel like that. If anything, he should already have moved past this stage ages ago.

Twenty-two and still acting like a child.

Another sigh. Another sip.

Well, an attempt to anyways. His glass was already empty.

He grinned at his sudden realisation. Alcohol wasn’t Remus friend. Alcohol just made him feel miserable. 

He was sitting at the bar for what felt like hours all alone, but it wasn’t even the length of one song. Sirius had left him to pick a song from the jukebox. And the song still played, which meant that was not even two minutes ago.

Sirius was probably dancing to it at that very moment. The lyrics were kind of tragic while being sappy at the same time. The beat was slow and almost made it feel like the world around Remus slowed down. It was Sirius favourite song at the moment and Remus felt like nobody else really liked that certain song as much as he did. 

But Sirius was always different in away. And although they had a completely different background, were raised in very different ways and even came from a different social class, they still ended up together at the same place. At first glance, they seemed to be too different to understand each other. When you looked closer, however, they did share more things than just a shitty upbringing. 

Sirius, although it was hard to believe, looked at things in quite a poetic way. Sometimes he said things that made Remus just stop and stare at him for a while.

Sirius was a deep thinker, just like Remus himself. While Remus kept his thoughts locked away for most people, Sirius was a loud person. Loud, rowdy and blunt. But maybe it was just that that made Remus feel at ease with him. While he always tiptoed around things he wanted to say to others, Remus never felt that same kind of restraint with Sirius. Sirius was quick to speak without thinking and sometimes his words were a tad bit too honest for Remus. But Sirius never judged a book by its cover. And that was something Remus truly appreciated about his friend. 

When the song slowly started to fade, Sirius came walking towards him. With slow and steady steps that matched the beat and confidence radiating from him, that Remus wouldn’t be able to muster up in a hundred life-spans. Yeah, they were very different. 

And then, when Remus looked at Sirius’ tired eyes, glassy and dark circles underneath them, he smiled. Different, but in the same way. 

Sirius ordered two more shots for them both and held his glass up, waiting for Remus to clink it with him. And in that very moment stopped worrying and stopped thinking, because in that very moment everything was alright.

✩ ✩ ✩

It was a little after two in the morning when they were finally kicked out of the pub. Just ten minutes later they popped open another bottle of beer in their living room. 

Remus shared the apartment not only with Sirius, but also with James and Peter. But the other two, they were only God knows where. Remus’ mind was too hazy to remember and too drunk to care.

He sat on the rug in front of the couch. The brown leather couch wasn’t quite the best choice to seat on when it was as hot and stuffy summer night. The rug wasn’t too bad though. It was soft and Remus wasn’t too bothered by the wine stains here and there. James got yelled at by Sirius for staining it pretty shortly after they moved together. Sirius loved that rug for some reason, bought it at a flea market he said. Sirius always saw beauty in things that no one else really did. Although Remus had to admit, he did get used to the funky coloured pattern. The living room wouldn’t quite look the same without it. And maybe, Remus thought, maybe the wine stains just added a nice touch to the pattern.

Too focused on the carpet he jumped slightly when Sirius spoke up for the first time since they came home.

“I’m so sick of this”, Sirius said.

“Sick of the carpet?” Remus asked as it was the only thing on his mind at that moment. He then put the bottle away on the coffee table in front of him and shoved it out of reach completely. He knew if he had even one more sip of it, his stomach wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“ _What_?” Sirius looked at him in confusion for a moment, but then shook his head. “I’ll never be sick of that”, Sirius finally sat down beside Remus. “But I’m sick of everything else.” 

“What is _everything else_?” Remus asked. “Sick of this apartment? Sick of this place?”

“I don’t know.” Sirius shrugged, then walked to the other side of the room and turned on some music.

Remus felt his body slack back until his back rested on the couch. It was the perfect height for leaning his head back as well. He stared at the ceiling. “I think I know what you mean”, Remus said after a while.

“How can you know that if I don’t even know it myself?” Sirius said. He plopped down beside Remus.

“I just know”, Remus said.

“You don’t make any sense”, Sirius said. “Not that I make much sense either. I guess we’re both just idiots.”

“Drunk idiots”, Remus agreed. “You know what I think sometimes? We should just make a run from it. Leave everything behind.”

“We should do just that”, Sirius said. 

Remus grinned to himself, as he imagined the two of them conquering the world. “We definitely should.” 

“I mean yeah. You suggested it”, Sirius said and there was a smile in his voice.

And that was the last thing Remus remembered. After that, there was just undisturbed darkness.

✩ ✩ ✩

There was some clanking of keys. A door opening?

Then there was silence again.

Until Remus imagined he heard footsteps all around. The old, wooden planks in the room only ever squeaked that loudly when you stomped around. And if his mind wouldn’t still be half asleep, Remus might have known who usually stomped around like that.

 _“Look how pissed they got yesterday without me! And they call myself friends.”_ That voice….

Remus felt a dull pain in his head. Or was it his neck that was hurting? Maybe both? He groaned.

_“Damn you guys are pathetic!”_

It was James' voice, Remus realized at the same time he felt something moving on his lap. Remus blinked a couple of times, but it took him a moment to actually see. Thank god these thick, olive curtains blocked out most of the light, because-

“Rise and shine, rise and shine!” James sing sang as he drew open the curtains with a quick swish. Then he opened the window, and the noise of the busy street came echoing into the room. It must have been late morning already. Maybe even close to lunch, because Remus imagined he could smell the greasy food of the Chinese restaurant that was just next door.

Remus groaned and scrunched up his face as he closed his eyes again. He didn’t want to think about food at that moment, it made his insides twist and turn. And then something moved on Remus lap again, he almost forgot about it.

Finally looking at the weight in his lap, he realized it was Sirius resting his head there and complaining about the noise and the light. 

Slowly Remus could make sense of the situation. 

They both got absolutely wasted last night and fell asleep on the floor. He couldn’t remember why they decided to sit on the floor in the first place, but he wasn’t too happy about that choice. His neck was hurting indeed, as well as his whole back from sleeping in such a position. As his eyes roamed around the room and he looked at the half-emptied bottles on the coffee table in front of him, he did feel his stomach protest.

“Could you maybe, I don’t know. Close those curtains again?” Sirius mumbled with a grumpy voice. He turned to face away from the window - which was facing Remus body instead. Remus, however, looked at James instead, who was now standing in front of them, rolling his eyes.

“I leave you two alone for not even two days and you end up like that without me? I thought we said we’d celebrate term’s end together when I’m back?”

Right. James was away because he had applied for a job across the country and they invited him for a job interview. It was some nice company and although James wasn’t too happy about their timing, nothing was stopping him from going there.

“Did you get the job?” Remus asked him. His throat was dry and it almost hurt to speak. It was pretty uncomfortable at least. He was surprised James even understood him.

“What do you think?” James said and his lips stretched into a grin.

“That’s my boy”, Sirius mumbled proudly from Remus lap and still made no effort to move.

Remus smiled at James as well. “That’s good to hear.”

 _Liar_ , Remus thought. That wasn’t good at all. That only meant that James would be gone all summer. Remus felt slightly bad for thinking that way, but he did secretly hope he wouldn’t get the job. At least they could have spent their last summer break together.

As if. Peter wasn’t with them either. Remus felt very sick all of a sudden and had the urge to move. His legs seemed to have fallen asleep completely, he couldn’t even feel them anymore. Sirius, however, did make no effort to move at all.

“Seriously now, how did the two of you manage to get that drunk?”

“Jealous you weren’t with us?” Sirius teased him with a raspy voice and his eyes still closed.

“Actually yes", James paused for a moment, looking around the room as if in deep thought. "Listen, guys, I don’t think I’ll get the chance to celebrate with you anytime soon. They want me to start my new job on Monday. I’ll have to spend the weekend with Lily or she’ll dump me for good.” 

Remus lowered his head at the news. It was nothing he didn’t already expect, but something he didn't want to hear. Sirius had opened his eyes in his lap as well, but didn’t say anything either. Remus could practically see how his mind was racing at James words.

Since nobody else was saying something, Remus thought of something to say. “Sure. I mean you should do that. We can still… go for a drink another time.”

“I’m sorry”, James said.

Sirius finally sat up then. When he brushed his hair away from his face, Remus noticed the anger that sparkled in his grey eyes.

“ _Sorry_?” Sirius scoffed.

“What do you mean?” James asked, irritated by Sirius' choice of tone. 

“What would you be sorry about?” Only then did Sirius look up to meet James eyes.

That obviously made James angrier as well, his expression matched Sirius'. “I’m sorry I can’t spend time with you before I start my job. But that's life.”

“Right”, Sirius answered.

“Tell me, Sirius. What is it that you want to hear from me? Should I say sorry for getting the job I always wanted? Should I apologize for having a nice girlfriend or parents that support me? What is it you want me to apologize for?”

“I didn’t ask you to apologize at all”, Sirius snapped back.

“Then what is your problem? You’re acting like that since New Year’s! You’re getting on my nerves with that attitude of yours.”

“ _My_ attitude? Who’s walking around like he’s got it all?” Sirius yelled.

“Then grow the fuck up already. You’re always whining around, but you never change anything. It’s not my fault that your only spark of light is getting pissed on Friday nights!”

“Do you even realize what load of crap you’re spitting out right now?”

“Why? Is it because you can’t handle the truth?” James huffed.

“Hey now. Don’t say anything you regret later on”, Remus couldn’t help but butt in.

James huffed. “You and Sirius." His frown deepened as he shook his head. "You’ve always sided with him. Why would that change now?” 

“I’m not siding with anyone”, Remus said. His only intention was to make them stop fighting. Although James did have a point. He did side with Sirius in this case. Against all logical reasoning, and Remus knew it. 

Sirius did act different lately. But to his defence; so did James. He didn’t partake in their weekly meet-ups in the pub all that often anymore. And when he did, he dragged his girlfriend with him more often than not. Remus liked Lily, she was a nice girl for the most part. But in a way, she took him away from them. And he couldn't quite make himself overlook that fact. 

“You’re a bloody liar, Remus. A bad one at that.” James said after a moment.

Remus bit his lip. He knew he wasn’t always honest. But being called a liar by one of his best friends was harsh. It hurt more than he wanted to admit. Probably because it was the truth.

“And you’re a fuckin’ prick,” Sirius said to James.

Remus wanted to scream. Wanted to yell and shout for them to stop fighting. They did fight before, who didn’t? Usually, their fights were about petty things, however. Nothing that a pint or two couldn’t solve.

But this was different. Not even a crate of beer could solve this. The whole year was leading up to this point. Lately there was always this tension in the air, like on a hot summer’s day right before the storm. You knew something was coming, and you just waited for the first clash of thunder.

And this was finally it.

That fight wasn’t because James didn’t have time to get wasted with them.

The undeniable truth that sooner than later, they won’t share this apartment anymore was the real reason why Sirius was so tensed up lately. Each of them would have to go their own way, and Sirius wasn’t ready for that. This fight was about James moving on. And it was about Sirius being unable to accept it.

At least that was what Remus thought, since that was exactly what he was feeling. The night before, when Sirius told him that he was sick of _everything_ , Remus was pretty sure that he was talking about _this_. This was all they had after all.

“I can’t deal with your bullshit any longer!” James yelled at Sirius. Or at them both? Remus wasn’t quite sure where that anger was directed at anymore. 

“Then don’t! Nobody’s forcing you to!” Sirius yelled back.

Remus closed his eyes. He didn't want to partake in this fight any longer. When a moment later the door shut close with a loud bang, he knew it was over anyway. 

James was gone. 

Remus slowly stood up and walked to the opened window. He managed to get a glimpse of James hopping down the stairs to the Underground station before he vanished from his sight.

“Bloody hell”, Sirius muttered under his breath. “What even was this about?”

“I don’t know”, Remus said.

“Why, usually you know it all?” Sirius clicked his tongue as if he regretted his words as soon as he said them. “You think I’m an arse, admit it.”

Remus looked back over his shoulder and offered Sirius a weak a smile. “You haven’t stopped being an arse since the day I first met you. But I’m used to your personality by now. ”

“Oh, shut up, Remus.” Sirius shook his head weakly. He had that nostalgic look on his face, as if he was thinking of these days when they first met in school. Back then, when all four of them were just living life for the fun of it and no other reason. Back then, when everything was easy.

“I’m not shutting up just yet”, Remus then said.

Sirius peeked one eye open and raised a brow. Remus turned to look out of the window again before he continued speaking. “I mean Peter’s gone for good soon”, Remus started.

“He wasn’t part of the gang for some time now”, Sirius interrupted him.

And it was true. Peter was barely at the apartment lately, and when he was, it was just for sleeping and showering. On a rare evening that they all spent at home, Peter told them he’d be moving out in summer break. Just casually mentioned it over some greasy pizza they had.

“That’s the thing,” Remus said. “And if we’re being honest now, James will move out soon as well.”

“Well, I didn’t really stop him by getting pissed at him for nothing”, Sirius admitted.

Remus shrugged. “He would have moved out soon anyways. I mean he’s happy with Lily. I’m sure they want to move in together.”

“So what are you trying to say?” Sirius said.

“Just that I won’t be shutting up just yet”, Remus repeated. “Not even if you tell me to.”

“You better not. I’ll kill you if you leave too.”

Remus smiled at those words. We’re in the same boat Sirius. Besides. I’m more worried about you leaving me than the other way around.”

There was a grin in Sirius voice when he answered. “I don’t see myself moving out from here anytime soon. Why would I?”

“You might just meet the girl of your dreams later today and want to spend the rest of your life with her”, Remus said, a sad smile on his lips. “So you might not move out from here but you might be kicking me out sooner or later.”

Sirius huffed at the very idea of that. He stood up and before doing anything else, he was putting on some music. Remus knew that Sirius hated silence. While he was busy with selecting the song of the album he wanted to listen to, he answered Remus. “Me settling down with a girl, marry and have babies? That’s where you see me in a couple of years?”

“Isn’t that what you’d want?” Remus said, still observing the street underneath him. With the music Sirius put on, it felt a bit like he was in a movie. Whether this was the soundtrack for the opening or the closing credits he didn’t know though. “At least that’s what most want.”

“That’s exactly the opposite of what I want”, Sirius answered. “All these years you’ve spent with me, and you still think I’m satisfied with what _most_ want?”

“Yeah, my mistake. Sirius Black isn’t most men”, Remus laughed. “That’s what most men say though.”

“I mean, is that what you’d want for your future?” Sirius asked. He walked up to him and heaved himself up to sit on the window sill.

Was that what he wanted? A wife and kids, build a house and buy a family van? That wasn’t exactly what a twenty-two-year-old Remus wished for. But maybe that was what a thirty-year-old Remus would like. And if he wanted to have all that, he would have to start that now, wouldn’t he?

“I don’t know what I want”, Remus answered truthfully. “That’s actually what keeps me up most nights. The unknown. That uncertain future. And seeing how both our friends obviously know just exactly in which direction they’re heading… it makes me wonder what exactly went wrong with me.”

Sirius laughed at that. “A lot of things went _wrong_ with you.” 

Remus stayed silent, but looked at Sirius with a frown. That wasn’t exactly what he wanted to hear. But he should have known better than to expect anything else from him. 

“Oh, come on. I don’t mean it in a bad way. And you know that”, Sirius said.

“How can you not mean that in a bad way?” Remus asked.

“It’s not like I’m any different”, Sirius started. And just from that sentence, Remus wasn’t sure how that was supposed to make it any better. But then, Sirius continued. “We both had a fucked up childhood. We both left home early and were independent ever since. It was never easy and that’ll never change. We’re both nutters. James and Peter too. But not in the same way as we are. So really, what did you expect? That we turn out to be perfectly sane grown-ups? Dream on!”

“We weren’t completely independent ever since. At least I’m not. Never was. I always depended on you guys.”

“And now I’m the only one left you can depend on”, Sirius said.

Remus didn’t answer for a long time. “Don’t you feel envious of them sometimes?” Remus said after considering Sirius’ words. “Of James and Peter I mean.”

“What? Hell no”, Sirius shuddered at the thought. “Sure, sometimes I think about the what-ifs. If I had a loving family like James did, would I have done things differently? If my parents supported me the same way as Peter’s did then I’d study at the top university somewhere in Germany right now. Would I prefer that to what I have now? Not really, no.”

Remus nodded. He knew that Sirius’ family left some deep scars in his heart, and it never stopped bleeding. Sirius didn’t show it often, that it wasn’t quite as easy to cope with that all as he made it seem like. coping with all of that wasn’t as easy for him as he made it sound.

But Remus also knew that he couldn’t change anything about his past if he tried. 

Remus let his head fall slightly and shook his head. He was far too tired for these kinds of thoughts. 

The song faded into another one. And with the song, the mood around them changed as well. Sirius playfully nudged Remus and when he looked up he was met by Sirius’ mischievous grin. “You know, I just remember what we talked about before we both passed out last night. It was something about leaving everything behind.”

Remus scoffed at the thought. “Yeah, sure. Let’s just head to the airport and catch a flight to wherever they take us.” Remus joked.

“We do have the whole summer ahead of us”, Sirius spoke with a tone in his voice that made Remus look up into his steel-grey eyes.

“You’re joking, right?” Remus said.

“I mean the airport thing was your idea. But other than that”, Sirius shrugged as he turned his attention to the street underneath them. “I do want to leave everything behind. That wasn’t just some drunk thought, you know.”

“I mean I wouldn’t mind a change of scenery for once”, Remus sighed. Images started appearing in his head, of places he wanted to see and things they could do.

Sirius suddenly leaned forward and put his hand on Remus shoulder.“Right? So let’s consider this….” With his other hand he pointed down at the street.

“Oh no. No, I know where this is going-“ Remus started as he already guessed what Sirius wanted to show him. After rolling his eyes, he looked at where Sirius was pointing at and of course it was what he expected.

If there was one thing Sirius was excited about the past two weeks, it was that. That black car that parked not far away from them, at the side of the street. It was some American model, and it did look pretty nice. Pretentious. But nice. Seemingly the perfect car for Sirius. The two white stripes running over the bonnet screamed for attention just as much as these spoke wire wheels. Broad and bold and polished it stood there, waiting for someone to gather enough cash to buy it.

Sirius told him how he talked with the guy that sold it. A middle-aged guy living in the building next to theirs. He was a shady guy. Not only because of his looks or the car he drove, but also because he only accepted cash from whoever was stupid enough to buy it.

Remus didn’t remember the exact amount he wanted for the car, but he could have easily paid his share of the rent for more than three years with it.

“You’re not gonna buy that car”, Remus said.

“It’s not just a car, Remus. This beauty got a soul and a personality of her own. And now that I think about it you were right about something.”

“I was?” Remus frowned slightly.

“Yep. I just found the girl I wish to spend the rest of my life with.”

“You might _end_ your life with it. I know what a reckless driver you are.”

“If you’re on the passenger’s seat I promise to calm down.” Sirius offered.

“Oh, shut up Sirius. You’re just looking for a reason to buy that car. You’ve looked for one since the first day you saw it.”

“There must be a reason why nobody bought it yet!” Sirius said.

“ _Exactly_!” Remus’ voice was high pitched.

“No, I mean, she’s waiting for me. Fate is on my side with this.”

“Since when do you believe in fate?” Remus continued to shake his head. “And how are you even planning to pay for it?”

“Oh, you think I left my parents empty-handed? I just saved it up for the right time.” Sirius said. 

“And now’s the right time?” Remus asked.

Sirius patted Remus’ back again and that mischievous grin turned even bigger. “Now or never! Come on. A road trip. Just you and me, Rem. What do you say?”

“I say you’re a lunatic,” Remus said.

“And I say you lack a sense of adventure!” Sirius smiled at him. Remus tried his best to not roll his eyes and grin at the same time.

“Good thing you have enough of that for two.”

✩ ✩ ✩

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think Remus and Sirius should definitely do on a road trip? :)


End file.
